Yesterday I gave a talk in my church congregation. Fifteen to seventeen minutes, written out ahead of time. I looked down at my notes, I looked back up, and I made eye contact with the people in front of me.
What surprised me was how calm I felt. I expected to be more nervous than I was.
Where the dread actually lived
Looking back, the hardest part was the preparation. Writing the talk, deciding what to say, wondering if it would land. That is where the dread sat. Delivering it was the easy part.
I think that comes from years of being in front of audiences and on camera. But when I started researching why so many people get nervous speaking and recording video, I realized something I had never put into words.
The belief behind the fear
Most people are not afraid of the words they have to say. They are afraid of the eyes on them. The thought running underneath is simple: eyes on me are unsafe. If everyone is looking at me, then everyone can judge me.
That belief makes sense. It is also a belief, which means it can change.
The opposite thought
Somewhere along the way, through theater, show choir, and years on camera, I trained my brain to believe the opposite: eyes on me are safe.
When people are looking at me, I have their attention. When I have their attention, I can engage with them. If they are looking away, I cannot reach them at all. Eyes on me are not a threat. They are the invitation to connect.
It took reps
I did not get here overnight, and I did not know I was doing it. It happened slowly, one performance at a time, until my brain stopped sounding the alarm when people looked my way.
Seeing it now, I am blown away. I am not afraid to be seen. I am not afraid to be heard. That is a powerful place to stand.
Try this
- Notice the thought you have right before you hit record or step in front of people.
- If it sounds like “they are all judging me,” write down the opposite: “they are giving me their attention.”
- Next time you record, treat the lens like one person who is glad you showed up.
The camera is not the enemy and the audience is not the threat. It is a belief, and beliefs can be retrained. I want that for you too.
If you want help with it, schedule a free call and we will talk about what it looks like for you to step in front of a camera and actually feel safe doing it.
